synergy

Catching up

I know that I warned you all that I would be gone for some time, but even I didn't expect that I would end up being absent this long. Or at least it feels like, though I realize my last post was only 12 days ago.

Right now, I am enjoying the spring weather. Normally in this part of the country, spring passes us by. It will go from 50 to 90 within the span of a few days. Not this year, instead, the weather has been lovely in the 60's and 70's, with long beautiful sunny days. Today is one of those days, and K and I are off work and able to enjoy it. I am sitting on the front steps with the laptop balanced on my knees and observing the rush hour traffic backing up for the light at the corner with a beer next to me. K is upstairs napping.

April has been an exceptionally busy month. It's rare that I feel that I can only concentrate on one day at a time, because if I think ahead it would have overwhelmed me. Now, quickly approaching the end of the month, I have done everything that I set out to accomplish and I am happy about it.

My job application was submitted on Monday afternoon, 10 hours prior to the midnight deadline. I have no perspective on how well it was done, but I know that my first and second level managers believe that I have a shot at the executive training program. I will be pleased if I make it to the interview stage.

In addition to working on the seven essays from hell, I have been conducting informational interviews and networking for the month. That networking has led to further contacts and further networking. The one thing that no one ever mentions about networking is that it takes forever. Not only does it take tons of time to meet with people and chat about what you would like to do, but it take time for them to pass along the resume and speak to all their contacts. I'm not really complaining, but I do realize that the networking will probably only lead to the opportunity to apply for a job. Though, it will be an opportunity to apply for a job with the person on the other end already recognizing my name. At least, this is my theory. It hasn't played out that way yet.

The job stuff would have been quite enough, but we also spent a lot of April socializing. K's family came for Easter, including the 14 week old niece. K's brain has been fried with baby hormones. She can't get Anne out of her mind. During the visit, the baby spent two relatively quiet nights with us. Even though they have been gone for two weeks, K's thoughts constantly linger on her niece and what she is doing. My guess is crying, feeding, or sleeping, but somehow I think that my answer isn't quite the sentimental one that matches K's thoughts.

K had a good visit with her family. Probably the best visit ever with her sister. K and her sister have never been close. The tension in the relationship was captured early on in a photo of K at 6 years old holding her 3 year old sister in a chokehold for the camera. Things never really improved till the birth of Anne. K and her sister are both making a concerted effort to improve ties between them and I know that K is relishing knowing her sister as an adult.

K was a bit lost after her family left. I was exhausted and somewhat irritated with K. K's brain stopped functioning in the presence of Anne and she didn't help me manage the guests as well as she should have. We've discussed it now and I think things will be better for the next visit. We will see them in July, though K is busy plotting as to how she can take off for a weekend and head out to see the baby.

The personal trainer time is starting to pay off. K doesn't think that she's lost weight, but she has stopped snoring at night. That's a big plus as far as I am concerned. Also, she's beginning to sleep without ambien every night. My take on the sleeping without ambien is that her body is responding to the exercise and naturally falling asleep more easily. K's lifting the weights at the personal trainer's, and she is walking more. This past week, we even went for a bike ride. It was her first ride in years. We have one planned on Sunday to the farmer's market.

Yesterday was exceptionally busy. K and I attended a work related training program and open house for the first part of the day. Then, she came to hang out at my office for a few hours, so we could attend a farewell reception for one of my colleagues. It was a very good reception. K had the opportunity to meet some of my co-workers, whom I have spoken of for the past two years. She knew my old office, but had not met anyone really from my new office. They had the chance to put the face on K's name, since I talk constantly about her.

It was also a bittersweet reception. Over the next few months, the majority of the attendees will either be leaving for new jobs or retiring. I don't think that the group will be together again the way it was last night. It's not a secret that everyone is searching frantically for a way out of the organization. A number of people were even loudly joking about banding together to help me search for a job. A couple people in from our regional offices appeared somewhat shocked about the openness of the conversation. But I've had a very good two years with this group. They are fun. I've grown professionally and personally. I've been well treated and my professional work is extremely well-respected in the organization. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive environment. It's upsetting to think that it is being dismantled. Instead of regrets, I work to remind myself that I have been fortunate to have this situation at all. K keeps telling me and everyone else that I lead a charmed existence. The past two years have certainly felt that way.

It's been a good month. But I am glad that May doesn't appear to be anywhere near as busy. The highlight is that K and I will celebrate the 5th anniversary of our commitment ceremony next Friday. We've heading to the mountains to take advantage of the opportunity to use a friend's cabin for the weekend. This way the dog can join us and explore the land and chase small furry animals.

The good news is that with all the activities, K's illness has played no role. It seems as if she is only becoming stronger and more stable. I have no reservation about saying that, but a small part of the reptilian side of my brain wonders if I should not praise our fortune for the danger of bringing on bad luck. I am not worried about the long term, but I do have some reservations about the month of June. For the past three years, June has proven to be the most difficult month of the year. I hope that we are able to break the cycle this year. Sitting in the spring air, I believe that we will.

posted by synergy @ 4:52 PM 2 comments

Still Out Here

Is it pathetic to be sitting on the couch reading other people's blogs on a Saturday evening? K and I are taking it easy. Last night, we hosted a dinner party after work and I didn't get to bed 'till after 2 am. K had the sense to go to bed around 11 pm. Then we had a personal training session this morning at 10 am. I did better than I expected. Fortunately, I didn't have a hangover, though I probably deserved one for mixing Wokka, wine, and Johnny Walker Blue. K had given me the blue for my birthday in January and we bring it out when we have guests. The bottle is going quickly. I think that we need to find another good scotch that is somewhat less expensive. I don't want to be cheap, but $200/ bottle is quite a bit.

K is really getting into the working out. This past week, she's been focused more on walking and trying to keep moving instead of sitting around as much. At today's session, there was already an improvement in her stamina and flexibility. I felt better as well, though I know that I will be hurting tomorrow for it. Now, K's working on figuring out how to fit three 30-minute walks in during the week without killing herself. All this activity does have a bit of a downside. Since she's just getting into it, she missed two days of work last week as a result of exhaustion. I wasn't shocked, but I know that it frustrated her. We also had house guests last weekend and stayed up way too late with them. Yes, there is a theme that when we entertain, we don't stick to our early to bed schedule.

(Side note: Should we have washed the dog food container before putting in the dog food? We are discussing a dog that picks garbage up (occasionally) and eats it and licks her ass. K says that we shouldn't bother and my take is that we ought to at least make the attempt.)

Last night, our guests got a bit rowdy. K pulled out a copy of the butch test, which provides biased judgments on whether you are considered butch or not in the lesbian community. It was entertaining as K was the only lesbian in the room. We had two heterosexual women, one heterosexual man, and myself, bisexual woman. Despite K being the lesbian, one of our guests was pushing hard for points and wanted desperately to be counted as butch. She did better than I did. I believe that I received the "Bumbling Bisexual" category. When I last took the test a few years ago, I was "Alluringly androgynous". However, since that time I have begun to get manicures, pedicures, etc, for which you lose points. Despite all the competition, we did have an enjoyable evening. It was abruptly brought to a halt when our guests 3 month old daughter decided it was time to head for home or howl. No indication of the child's sexual preference at this stage.

The good news is that K's bipolar is low key. She's doing well. She's been even more affectionate than usual of late, which is nice. We remain disgustingly in love even after 8+ years of togetherness. Things are good and hopefully they will remain so.

Just for full disclosure, K has been reading over my shoulder as I have typed this entire post.

posted by synergy @ 8:55 PM 1 comments

New York Times articles

I'm hitting major writer's block in regards to my job application. I have two of the seven essays completed. I've been working on the third, but it seems as if I can't focus. As a response, I thought that I would blog for a moment.

The New York Times has carried two excellent articles related to mental illness over the past couple of days. The first one discusses an implement to treat drug resistant depression. It's still in the testing phase and is extremely expensive, but the anecdotes from the article sound promising.

The second article is a discussion of whether impulse behavior can be bad or lead to mental illness. There seems to be a fine line between positive and negative impulse behaviors.

These articles are available free for two weeks, then you have to pay a nominal fee, if you aren't a Times Select subscriber. I finally gave in and began to pay the $7.95 a month to access Times Select. I was too frustrated by not having access to all the columnists.

K is doing relatively well. Today she's asleep. We miscalculated with our guests this weekend. On Friday and Saturday nights, we stayed up too late. Then Sunday we napped after their departure and ended up sleeping till 6 pm. Do you think that either one of us was able to go to sleep at 9:30 pm? Not bloody likely. Also with the beginning of daylight savings time and my period, we reached a confluence of events that wiped us both out. My manager kicked me out of the office early yesterday, as I looked so miserable. The exhaustion probably is feeding into my writer's block as well.

I've been doing better about not getting wired with K. She has leave and I know that she hates to use it, but there are times when she is unable to make it to the office. Today is one of them. I called the house at 1 pm and she was still sound asleep. I'm hoping that she'll be better by the time I get home. The other part is that K wears a hormone patch. She's been very poor about changing them weekly, as required.
That may be affecting her mood. Last night, she began to get wired, but was able to catch herself. We also made sure to take the time and put on a new patch.

Nothing else of interest. I really need to keep working on the application.

posted by synergy @ 1:04 PM 0 comments