Catching Up
As you may have gathered, things have been busy for us lately. Last weekend, we drove cross-country to visit the new baby. This week, I spent a week in training. The class finished up around noon on Friday, so I've had the afternoon to play. Right now, I'm sitting in a cafe with a mug of tea and taking the opportunity to do a bit of writing.
K and I went through a rough patch with her work attendance in December and earlier this month. Finally, it reached a point, when the two of us were unable to discuss the issue together. K felt incredibly guilty and I was angry, as my previous posts have made clear. When we became unable to discuss the problem, it was time for us to head off to K's therapist to help us communicate. I know some therapists won't treat the couple if they are treating the individual, but Dr. M has made it clear that I am welcome to sit in if K and I consider it necessary.
The result was the I was able to express my frustration with K's inability to go to the office and I gained a better insight on why it is so difficult for her to make it in at times. I knew that K was having a difficult time listening to the discussion. As soon as her job attendance is broached as a topic, her preference is to withdraw and tune out the discussion. She did concentrate and listen to what I had to say and my concerns. I also acknowledge that my anger with her struggle isn't helpful to either one of us. The result was that Dr. M believes that K is still battling with the depression that she's had most of her life. We also discussed some ways that K may make it to the office for partial days, if she's feeling too tired in the morning to go in. We didn't reach a complete solution, but we began working towards one. The result from that session is that K has made it in to the office for the past 2 weeks without missing a day.
The only other humorous thing to report is that K went to the doctor yesterday. She's somewhat overweight, has had a heart attack, and takes blood pressure lowering meds. Besides those things, she eats salt constantly. However, due to her lithium intake, her salt tests low in her blood tests. The resident suggested to her that she eat a bag of chips to help her salt levels. Somehow, that doesn't seem quite like the right answer. I could see saying "Perhaps you want to eat some nuts or add more salt to your food." But the idea of a doctor recommending high calorie, high fat chips seems unbelievable.
I'm feeling good. My 33rd birthday is on the 28th and K has already begun planning for it. Nothing else happening.
Aunties K & L
K's sister had a baby right after Christmas. She's the only one of the three siblings who has reproduced and will likely remain the only one with a single child. She's the youngest at 40, not the best time for the first baby. But, the baby arrived and is healthy and happy. K and I drove out 700 miles with a dresser on top of the Jetta to see the baby this weekend.
K was smitten. She didn't want to let the baby go virtually the entire time we visited her sister. She cooed, fed, changed, and adored the baby the entire time, which is good.
The other good part is that we seemed to have been able to make the trip with no repercussions to K's mental state. There were a couple of danger areas. First, a long trip in a very short period of time. It was 12 hours of driving on Thursday and on Sunday. Second, we had the excitement of seeing her family. Third, there is a new baby and the accompanying hormones to send her tailspinning. But none of the bad seems to have taken place. Rather, we are slightly tired and mildly irritably, but that's the extent of it. Yippeee!
Not as Good as It Gets
I've been meaning to write this post for the past few weeks, but haven't been able to find the time.
Warning: Lots of med and doctor visit talk in here. Right now, I should really be putting a project plan together for work instead of blogging, but the blogging won out for my last few minutes in the office.
K went to see her psychiatrist a few weeks ago. It was another frustrating visit in terms of scheduling. We had actually scheduled the appointment for Dec. 9, directly before we left town to go to NYC. We show up and the front desk people immediately say "Hope you aren't here to see Dr. X. He's been out of town for a week on a trip scheduled since October." This is the 3rd or 4th time that this has happened to us. The front desk didn't call to reschedule the appointment, because K had scheduled back in September.
We were ultimately able to get in on 12/17 and we let the doctor know that we are continuing to have scheduling issues. He mentioned that it seems to keep happening to us that they screw up. I pointed out that some patients may be too embarrassed to mention the screw-ups to him thinking that it might be their own fault. With both K and I standing there when she schedules, we know that it isn't on our side. The only good part is that we live 1.5 miles from the doctor's office, so it isn't a giant problem.
Last December, Dr. X told K that she is in full remission. We weren't quite sure what this meant, but we figured it was good. What we didn't know is whether full remission meant that things were as good as they were going to get or if K could continue to expect improvement. We assumed that it meant that any remaining symptoms, the irritability, exhaustion, lack of sex drive would remain with her. The exhaustion has been the most difficult to deal with as it impacts K's ability to function. At least once a month, she sleeps 18 hours a day. On the weekends, she sleeps 10-12 hours a night. It interferes with her ability to go out and do things. Finally, we mentioned it to the doctor.
Overall, the doctor was pleased with K's progress. He said that every time he sees her she's doing better. That's good news. Then I brought up my concern about her exhaustion. He responded by saying that K's main problem has been anxiety and depression. Thus, her meds have been tailored towards a sedative effect. As she has gotten stronger and healthier, she has also been over-sedated. He immediately developed a plan to reduce the sedative effect of her medication.
Basically, he is hoping that in 3 months when she sees him again that she will be mostly sleeping without the Ambian. Next, she is supposed to reduce the Trileptal down to once a day, then she is supposed to reduce her intake of xanax. K has started doing this all simultaneously. Just reducing, not eliminating. But the Ambian and Xanax are already as needed. And she had made the decision to increase the Trileptal as a response to her increased rage due to her job. Now that things are settling down, she feels confident that she can return to the lower dose.
The positive message that I left the doctor's office with is that he continues to expect that K should improve every time he sees her. Where she is today is not as good as it gets. Rather, we can hope for better things in the future. That was my best Christmas gift. (Yes, that is a sappy line, but it's true.)
