Usually, I don't post when I am angry, as I was when I wrote yesterday morning. This evening, I'm no longer angry, but sad. It seems as if off and on I spent the entire day in tears.

K didn't make it in to the office again this morning. She had asked me to drive her in last night, but then this morning she said that she could tell her thoughts were distorted. She said that she was standing outside of her body and could feel that her thinking wasn't right. I didn't even get angry. I rolled over and went back to sleep after holding her a few minutes.

I'm sad and upset. I want to blame most of it on my period. The last few months, it seems as if my period is draining all my energy as the blood is released. Not a pleasant image, but accurate. Additionally, we continue to have leakage problems in the basement and learned that there should have been more prevention work done prior to the concrete floor being laid. Now, we may have to deal with continual dampness and seepage. K offered to call the contractor and handle it, but I couldn't face the thought of even having the conversation with him. We tell him exactly what to do and what materials to buy and then he and his little contractor friends don't follow the directions, screw up the installation, and it doesn't work. The sump pump that they installed a few weeks ago makes a very irritating high pitched scream when it's on and last night continued to run despite there being no water to pump. Needless to say, I'm not in a good mood.

I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. Things, non-specific things that I am unable to define, are not good. I'm still on the verge of tears and K's wired as well. K suggested that we take tomorrow to spoil ourselves as it's been a miserable year between her job and the basement. We're not sure what we will do yet, but it will be something nice like spending the day in bed.

January 1 is the anniversary of K's heart attack. It will have been 3 years since the attack and when she quit smoking. She would like me to make it k-creature day to celebrate the day rather than mourning the changes that the heart attack brought to our life. My thought is to start the day off with a nice brunch and then go one from there, maybe a movie (one actually in the theater) or something else special that we rarely do.

One last bit of news, K and I are aunties. Her sister had the baby on Wednesday afternoon. Everyone's doing well, and I believe that we will try to head out there in two weeks.


At 5:35 PM, Blogger broke said...

Really sorry to hear that you and K are having a bad time at the moment. Hope that things look up for you very soon,
Do take care


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