2.04.2005

Improvements

The sky is clearing. K has been at work the past two days and is starting to feel better again. I'm off the pill and my mood is improving as well. Tiredness remains a constant companion for us both, but it's the weekend and we'll be able to relax.

My struggles lately have had an underlying current of restlessness. I'm unable to pinpoint the cause. However, the feeling pervades my senses. I can't even say if it is a professional or personal restlessness. I feel dissatisfied with my job, but I can't figure out what would be better. I'm unhappy about the state of the house, but I can't change anything till the basement is finished. Yes, that project continues to drag on. I've wanted to exercise, but haven't been able to drag myself from my bed in the morning to do so. Result: A feeling of dissatisfaction with myself and circumstances.

Right now, I should be happy with my job. I'm heading up a couple of projects, which are high profile. I'm busy, doing good work, and stimulated. But it doesn't seem to be what I want. The same goes for a number of things.

K's noticed my feelings and believes it has more to do with the lack of light and the slightly gloomy period of winter. The whole interlude with the birth control pills that past three weeks hasn't helped my moods any.

Things are improving, but I guess I'll need to put some thought into what I want.

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