Anniversary--One Day Late

365 + 1 days ago, K underwent her first session of ECT. After the first session, we celebrated that her memories were still intact and her thoughts remained clear. We didn't know what awaited us in the upcoming weeks.

I don't regret that K did the ECT. I don't know what she thinks. But, it made the bipolar more difficult to manage and added the component of confusion and memory loss. Nor did the ECT relieve that pain of her depression.

But. . . what if it had helped? What if she had woken up feeling better afterwards? What if it made it possible for the bipolar drugs to work and relieved the desperate time pressures of her downward spiral towards suicide?

Tonight, we are going to a community meeting. Not a celebration, but something which would have been impossible at this time last year.

That's enough.


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