I realize that I bitched on Saturday and then disappeared for two days. The weekend was busy. Much of the time was spent trying to clean the dining room and living room to make it even possible for the cleaning crew to get in there today. I did almost all of it, because K slept much of the day Saturday and didn't function Sunday afternoon.

She's in a foul temper today, which I can't quite figure out. She attributes it to a lack of sleep; she got about 5 hours last night. But she's struggling with rage and anger, and I can tell she's fighting to hold it in check and not attack me. She's somewhat successfully, but she's very stressed.

My mother's coming this weekend, and I think that has her pissed off. She doesn't want to have to share her weekend, which I find to be a selfish, unrealistic attitude. We don't spend much time with any of the parents. Needless to say, I don't want to reopen these discussions, especially after the one we had two months ago.

When K is unreasonable is when I begin to get tired and doubt my ability to go through this day after day, year after year. I don't want to deal with someone who's in pain and angry. Lashing out at me, doesn't lessen the agony for her.

No words to express my desire to escape into a ball right now.


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