Internet Snob

I realized yesterday that I am an Internet snob.  I was searching google for more information as to bipolar disorder and found quite a bit of information.  I found information using "bipolar webrings" and other like search terms.  However, the sites that I found on those searches were not so good.

Some of them had useful information, and I'll probably link to them.  But the majority just were poorly designed websites with ramblings on them.  I'm not sure if I was more irritated by the design or the contact.  If I were truthful, the design aspect might win out. 

Before reading the material, I had contemplated submitting this blog for possible addition to a webring or other bipolar information.  That said, many of them had not been updated for years and were floating in cyberspace.  So including my blog wouldn't really have worked.

The one piece of information that I found to be missing was specific information for caretakers.  Some people addressed it somewhere on their websites, but there was nothing that worked through the difficulties of caring for someone with a mental illness on a daily basis.  It's unfortunate, because there are millions of caretakers out there and they need assistance as well.

My relationship with K isn't built on the foundation that she is the patient and I am the caretaker.  I believe it would be a much more challenging role to care for a child or adolescent with bipolar disorder.  Our relationship is built on love, trust, and respect and those are the qualities, which have held us together thus far. 

Nor does K require constant caring.  She has an excellent job and is an equal financial partner.  We are fortunate that we don't have financial worries.  She more than maintains the house.  At times, she needs me to handle the driving, because she may be on a medication precluding her from going behind the wheel.  For the most part, even when she's at 80 percent, my role as a caretaker is limited.  

But, when I have to care for her, it does place a burden on me.  And that is when I could use resources to help me get through the moment or the day.  It is challenging and stressful to determine what the appropriate next steps are to keep her from wanting to harm herself or harming herself.  What are my limits as a caretaker?  When am I pushing too hard or taking on tasks that she needs to undertake? 

These are the types of questions and responses I would like to see and have not yet managed to find.


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