synergy

Blips are bad

Things were going so well.  And then today K wasn't able to get out of bed.  She claimed she hadn't slept all night, but I was, unfortunately, up till 1 am and she was asleep from 9:30 pm to 1 am.  However, she said she was up every hour after 1.  I believe her, but it's baffling.  I guess I should be more understanding as she does have a bladder infection.  She only got the prescription yesterday to help cure it.

I knew there was something wrong when the alarm went off at 6 am (no, I didn't make it to the gym to lift weights this morning.)  K didn't move when the alarm went off.  Never a good sign.  Morning isn't a great time, but on the good days, she usually pulls herself out of bed.  I didn't say anything, just got up to take my shower.

After showering and returning to the bedroom, she hadn't moved other than to pull the covers over her eyes to keep the closet light out of them.   I got her to remove the earplugs, she sleeps with nightly.  Our street used to be really loud all the time, now it is somewhat loud on rare occasions, but she doesn't believe in risking wakefulness.  Once the earplugs were out, we were able to have a conversation and talk about what was bothering her.

It was evident that she wasn't doing well.  I believe the reason is twofold.  1) She was supposed to speak at a conference this afternoon.  Despite being an excellent speaker and her portion only being 5 minutes, I think it upset her.
2) I'm leaving town tomorrow evening till Sunday to visit my mother.  K worried when I leave that something might happen to me and she's frightened.  I went cross-country for 5 days in February.  She worried endlessly before I left, but once I was gone, she enjoyed the time alone.

It's frustrating trying to reassure her.  She immediately jumps to the conclusion that she's sick.  Not that she may be having a bad hour, bad half-day, or bad day.  No, she immediately believes that she is ill once again.  I tried to calm her and finally settled on providing her with a half tablet of xanax. 

I try to be patient.  And I was, but I did have to leave and left with her still upset.  But this has happened over and over the past year.  My remaining at home wouldn't have changed the outcome.  So I did want I needed to do, which was go to the office so I would arrive on schedule.  It wasn't how I would have liked to have started the day. 

K did managed to get up later in the morning.  She is functioning by watching a movie to zone out of real life.  I hope that tomorrow is better and that today is only another blip on the screen.

posted by synergy @ 1:42 PM