Over-wrought and Overtaxed
K is suffering from an abscessed tooth and the Vicodin prescription from the dentist seems to be doing nothing to ease her pain. We woke the dentist at 1 am this morning to ask for help, as K was almost screaming in agony. He had us come in at 7:30 am, so he could drain the abscess. As of yet, the pain has not gone away. On the way home, I have to stop to pick up a prescription of Percocet for her and have it filled.Does it ever end?
I only got a few hours of sleep last night. My stomach is in knots as I worry about K. She's constantly freaking out, because the pressure from her job not to miss any time. Right now, she's basically panicking, but she can't have xanax as it doesn't mix well with the pain pills.
Not good.
I feel as if we are being bashed by wave after wave of crises. This isn't how I want to live my life. I plan things out. I don't wait for a crisis to hit before I take preventive action. But, I have to admit, I don't know how to plan for these things. I don't know how we anticipate the next wave and prepare ourselves for the ride and the buffeting.
K keeps focusing on the bipolar is not the problem here. It is things like the tooth and her cold virus, which are causing the problem. Regardless of cause, the end result is the same that K is ill, she needs my attention and help, and she can't work. I know the details differ, but the same result occurs.
I'm tired, stressed, and angry over this situation. I'm tired of her calling me in tears, I'm tired of being the responsible one, and I want my K back without all the extras.
posted by synergy @ 3:33 PM
2 Comments:
I think you're bearing K's burden as well as your own and that you should talk to hers or your therapist. Because you deal with so much, are you enabling some of K's behavior?
I think there have been times throughout K's illnesses that I have taken on too much. I've gotten much better about pushing back for her to take responsibility for making her own appointments and so forth.
When she's feeling fine, it isn't a problem. We're both focused on having her be more self-sufficient when she's not feeling well. She acknowledges that she needs my help when she doesn't feel well.
One thing is that when I had an abscessed tooth, I could not do anything other than lay around and groan. If she had leave and it wasn't coming after so many other problems, I would be perfectly happy to nurse her back to health. It's just everything together feels like too much.
L
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