synergy

Endless Week

This week seems to be going on forever. I'm tired, somewhat disheartened, anxious, and generally uneasy. There's not much happening that should cause the above feelings, but they continue to lurk in the background.

Last week, things exploded with K's leave situation. She didn't go to the office on Tuesday or Wednesday. She worked Friday and made up one of the days, but still she was out unexpectedly once again. Basically, the shit hit the fan regarding her use of leave. She has to provide doctor's notes for the six days she missed in the previous two weeks. That really should not be a problem, except that one of the doctors was in Urgent Care and she's had a bit of trouble getting a good note from him.

What has become clear is that her leave situation, with almost six weeks of advanced sick leave that needs to be repaid, is not helping her mental health or her professional outlook. It is being used against her in this developmental assignment and by the management of the group. K also worries about it.

So . . . she's decided that the best thing to do, instead of waiting to earn it all back, which would take three years, she wants to buy herself out of the hole on leave. We've heard two figures, one in the four digits and one in the five digits as to the cost. But if that's what it takes to help K get back on track, then that is what needs to be done. I'm fine with spending the money.

K's moods have been pretty stable and she's made it to work every day this week. But the leave situation is dragging on her. She's had to report on her progress in getting notes and working out all the problems to the management. It takes a toll on her even to talk about it. I hear it in her voice and then I become anxious.

I continue to struggle with the challenge of separating my moods from K's. I've been busy all week as well, but I know that some of my anxiety arises from the knowledge that she's uneasy. Somehow, I need to let let figure it out on her own without my involvement.

I am also concerned because she's been given a new assignment. It appears to be a good one, but it is in an area that she's only now learning. I can hear the uncertainty in her voice as she is trying to figure out how to complete her assignment, which is due at the end of September. The hope is that she will then be converted to the position as a permanent employee and her ordeal as a temporary worker will be over.

To combat my own anxiousness and fears, I went to the gym this morning. Too soon to tell if it helped or not. I'm sure it did, even if I'm unable to tell. As I keep telling K, we'll get through this. Our toast lately has been "Survival".

posted by synergy @ 1:04 PM