wine (or whine)

I probably shouldn't be blogging, since I finishing the last glass in a bottle of wine. A bottle that I haven't shared. However, my mood has greatly improved from earlier this evening. K and I were spatting a few hours ago. Also, I'm in the middle of making potato salad, which I committed to bringing to the professional development kickball game/cookout tomorrow afternoon.

We've gotten pass the spat, but the stress of the past week, as I stated earlier, her job, my feelings of responsibility and professional obligations, her illness, the house, etc. have given us a few reasons to be stressed over the past weeks. Somehow this week, everything seemed to come to a head.

I think the low point for me this afternoon was sitting in the car sobbing parked in one of the eight parking spots in the alley behind our local McDonald's. McDonald's is the only place where you can find parking in one of the popular neighborhoods near us, and they have 6 or 8 spots total. The cabs frequently grab them from everyone else. But the street can be parked to the max with every illegal spot in sight already taken and the alley behind McD's can have spots galore.

Any case, I'm digressing. K seems to think that I'm through and had it with the entire situatiion of her job and illness. That isn't the case, rather I'm stretched too far. I don't feel as if I can continue to stretch. To address this, we've decided to try a joint session with K's therapist tomorrow. I'm not sure that I have ever been in a full session with the two of them, but we've decided that it might help both of us reduce our anxiety. I have reserved the right to change my mind up until the last minute.

As I've mentioned earlier in this blog, I did go to therapy for six months to help me get through the worst of K's bipolar disorder. It wasn't fantastic, but it did help. We had to set ground rules that the psychiatrist would not probe beyond the situation with K, as I wasn't interested in going beyond that portion of my life. Once, she tried to probe into my defense mechanisms and the result was that I sobbed for hours after the session. She decided after that session that my defenses funtioned well and there was no need to probe them and cause me additional pain.

Different subject: When I took the Meyer's Biggs exam recently, it was confirmed that I am an introvert. I need people more that K needs people, but it drains me to be placed in unknown social situations. Tomorrow's kickball game/cookout has been stressing me out for the past 2 weeks. I could have managed to have gotten out of it, but I know that it will be good for my professional life to show up and chat with people. I was whining to my manager about having to attend. His sympathy was with me, as he hates these events. But he pointed out that when I'm an executive I'll have to deal with them. I guess the good thing is that he's assuming that I'll make it that far. We'll see. I'm still a couple levels below that title. However, with the retirements in the next few years, it may happen sooner that I think. Once again, I digress.

K and I worked through our differences this evening. She was able to use her sense of humor to convince me to stop crying. Then, we were able to go get dinner. I had a chicken gyro. Not worth it, I'll stay with lamb in the future. I am somewhat concerned that we go to the Greek place enough that they greet us as regular customers. And it's been several weeks since we last made it. One other thing, K and I both got complexes, as there was a group of attractive lesbians sitting in the next restaurant patio from where we were waiting for our food. We both felt overweight. For the record, I've been going to the gym 2-3 times a week and I actually was able to briefly manage 6.8 mph on the treadmill this week. The rest of the time was between 6.0-6.5.

Okay--my potato salad is calling and the wine has already been hitting, as you can probably tell from the post.


At 6:06 AM, Blogger blondzila said...

I don't like potato salad and I don't drink, but enjoy. And it's not whining: it's your blog and you can say whatever you damned well need to.


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