synergy

Christmas time and freezing cold

As I said the other day, we're on the road. We decided for a number of reasons to road trip rather than fly, not the least being that we have to go back and forth between two cities several times over the 12 days that we are out here. Part of our travels consisted going further north than where we live. My god is it cold out here. The first two days I shivered every time I came next to the windows. Let me also say, the weather was in the 30's where we live.

We've both layered on the wool and the high tech fleece to keep from freezing to death. My mother's house is exceptionally drafter, especially when she doesn't put down the storm windows. So K's been being a good daughter-in-law and putting my mom's house in better condition for the winter.

We're slowly learning, as we do more traveling, that K needs at least one day to sleep about 16-18 hours after arriving at a destination. However we get there, be it by car, plane, etc., it seems to take a lot out of her. I don't know if this is part of the bipolar, but if she doesn't get the relaxation time, it can cause rage to flare up. I try to be accommodating, but there are times that I want her with me, participating in life rather than sleeping it away. (Right now, she's quietly sleeping across the room from me in the hotel, so I don't pressure her all of the time.) As we create our travel schedules, we are trying to accommodate her need for rest upon arrival and build in an extra day at the end of the trip, so we don't immediately go to work the day after arriving home. If these accommodations for her schedule forstall any instability, they are well worth the time and trouble they take.

This week, we've been spending some time with K's family, who have come far in accepting our relationship. For many years, their interactions were strained and awkward. They still don't always know how to deal with one another, but the tension is gone and the second guessing of every statement has disappeared. The trust between the family has been regained. As a result, we are trying to spend more time with them, than we did previously.

One example, as we rode with K's parents to dinner last night, an hour's drive, I said something slightly negative about my mother needing lots of attention as she just bought a new computer. K's mother promptly said that there would be no mother bashing in the car and suggested the creation of the group MUAC. MUAC stands for Mothers United Against Children and their charter would not allow any mother bashing within their hearing. Another mother who may be interested in joining a group like MUAC is Ayelet Waldman http://www.bad-mother.blogspot.com/. Very entertaining and non-saccharine view of raising four children.

K and I are starting to relax. My optimistic, happy, bouncy nature is reasserting itself past the house traumas that we had before we left town. If our house has blown up with the new boiler, no one has told us about it yet. The work continues in the basement without us and unfortunately, will continue once we return, but they are making progress down there. I'm starting to feel as if I'll be able to enjoy Christmas.

posted by synergy @ 9:40 AM