12.06.2004

Pressure

It isn't either bipolar disorder or contractors causing stress in our lives for the moment. It is this unknown physical illness that K contracted somewhere during our travels. She's been ill for almost a week, unable to easily keep food down, stomach pains, unable to focus her eyes, and dizzy. My dining room painting spree over the weekend didn't help with her nausea either.

K doesn't want to or doesn't know how to deal with it. Finally, I got irritated with her unwillingness to call the doctor and made an appointment for urgent care tomorrow afternoon. But now I have to take off work again (I was off on Thursday, because she was concerned about passing out and being home alone.) to take her to the doctor's.

I'm irritated. What would happen if I didn't have a job where I could not easily take time off? I guess I'm also irritated by her being so sick and unwilling to take a taxi or have someone else drive her to the doctor. Even if she did have the car at home, she wouldn't be up for actually driving given her condition, but she could make it to the doctor some other way.

Throughout the week, the painting of the dining room, dealing with contractors, and errands all fell to me as she was too ill to do anything. I don't doubt that she's sick, but I am tired of being the one having to do it all.

What mostly gets to me is the pressure to have to leave work and deal with things for K. I wish she were more willing to do it herself. When I pointed out that I would have to skip a meeting to go with her to the doctor, she got angry with me.

Sorry for the rant. I feel slightly better, but still REALLY irritated.

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